There is no research to prove parents have natural instincts. Parenting instinct refers to a biologically based, in-born knowledge of how-to parent. Examples of instinctual parenting can be found in nature with animals. Hover, human relationships are much more complex. Research shows that humans don’t have an in-born instinct of how-to parent. We base our parenting styles on a combination of our relationship with our children, our past childhood experiences, and our own research on parenting. 

While we can’t be sure about instinct, research proves that intuition does exist. Intuition is based on inner thoughts and feelings, otherwise known as “gut feelings”. Decisions based on intuition often happen without weighing facts or logic, it’s just a feeling. Research states that there are four primary types of intuition. Check out how intuition can be relevant to parenting. 

Problem-Solving Intuition:  You are the expert of your child. All the time you spend with your child helps you learn and understand him in a way that no one else can. That learning and understanding gives you those “gut feelings”, the knowledge and expertise of how-to problem-solve during certain fast-paced, critical situations. It is likely that no other person could have the problem-solving intuition when it comes to your child. 

Social Intuition: Based on experiences, adults understand verbal and non-verbal cues of how others are feeling. Social intuition is very helpful with little ones since they don’t have the life experience to advocate for themselves. Young children don’t have the maturity to understand how they feel, why they are behaving the way they are or how to vocalize their emotions. They don’t have the vocabulary or skill to tell us when they are overstimulated, overtired or just need a break. Parents can use social intuition to read cues that help to know when to set necessary limits that support their child’s needs. 

Creative Intuition: Being able to “think outside the box” problem solve is creative intuition. You know your child best, so when there is a reoccurring problem such as bedtime struggles and you get a new “ah-ha” of what might work, that is following your creative intuition. Follow those “gut feelings” to trust yourself that you can support your child with a specific struggle by getting creative with possible solutions. 

Moral Intuition: This kind of intuition focuses on following your emotions of what is right and wrong. You may have “gut feelings” regarding parenting decisions and what feels right or wrong to you. You can probably come up with reasons to justify a decision afterwards, but initially that moral intuition helped you decide what felt right for your child and you in the moment. 

 The more time we spend with our children the better we can hone into our parental intuition that can effectively meet their needs. Does this mean that parents should “listen to their gut” when parenting? YES! Finding a balance between using your intuition while also being informed when making decisions is the key.