You are the most significant person in your child’s life, and their self-esteem begins with your interactions with them. Understanding yourself is as important as understanding your child. Self-awareness will make it possible for you to help them develop what every caregiver wants for their child – a secure, solid sense of who they are.  

Here are some everyday ways to help build up your child’s self-esteem: 

• Reinforce your love for your children often- tell them you love them, give them plenty of physical affection and attention. 
• Correct behavior and set limits, and keep in mind that behavior is communication. A child’s behavior is separate from who they are. In other words, communicate to your child they made a bad choice, but not that they are a bad child. 
• Make sure your children know their thoughts and feelings are important to you. Validate their feelings. ALL feelings are ok, but not all behavior is. Validate while setting limits is still validating. 
• Give choices, not threats. Try, “Would you rather put the ball away or play ball outside?” instead of “If you don’t stop playing ball in this house, you’re going to get it!” 
• Help your child set realistic and attainable goals. (Set them up for success often!) 
• Identify your child’s strong personality traits (such as thoughtfulness, neatness, or humor) and take time to comment on them. Be specific with praise. Be strength-based; if your child is strong willed, compliment them on how determined they are! 
• Be polite and respectful when speaking with your child. Say “please” and “thank you”. Model the behavior you want to see in them. 
• Let your child know that you appreciate when they help. Catch them in the act of helping and praise them (however small). 
• When asking something of your children, make sure they fully understand the rules and expectations. This helps build confidence and responsibility. 
• Allow your children the chance to solve their own problems. Give them opportunities to work through things on their own. If they ask for help, explain or show them how, and then let them try. 
• Always give your child the respect of a reason to their “why,” saying “because I said so” suggests they are not worthy of an explanation. 
• Avoid limiting your child’s abilities. Encourage them that they can do anything if they try. Then praise their efforts, as well as successes. 
• Believe in your child’s resilience and ability to bounce back from disappointment. Encourage your child to try again and praise every attempt.