Have you ever noticed how some children are seemingly born calm and easygoing while others may be fussier or more easily upset? Some are shyer while others seem to be outgoing and social? It is no secret that every child is unique in almost every way. From a very early age, you may notice that your baby has their own characteristics and patterns of behavior that influence the way they respond to daily events in their life. This is called their temperament; it helps to shape your baby’s world and as a result, yours too.

Temperament is not something your child chooses, nor is it something that you created. Understanding and recognizing patterns in your child’s behavior that are influenced by temperament can help you anticipate your child’s responses to certain situations.

Generally, there are nine characteristics that describe temperament:

• Activity Level: How active the child is generally. 
  • –High activity level: Kids with high activity level tend to squirm and fidget and don’t like sitting still.
  • –Low activity level: Kids with low activity level prefer quiet, calm activities.
• Distractibility: Degree of concentration and paying attention when not particularly interested. 
  • –High distractibility: Kids are easily distracted by noises and things they see; have trouble concentrating; very distracted by any small discomfort such as being hungry.
  • –Low distractibility: Kids are able to concentrate on an activity without easily being distracted.
• Intensity: How loud the child is. 
  • –High intensity: Kids with high-intensity reactions tend to have very strong reactions–both positive and negative–to things.
  • –Low intensity: Children with low-intensity reactions tend to have muted, less emotional reactions.
• Regularity: The predictability of biological functions like appetite and sleep.
  • High regularity: Exhibiting regular and predictable eating, sleeping patterns.
  • Low regularity: Exhibiting irregular eating, sleeping patterns.
• Sensory Threshold: How sensitive the child is to physical stimuli: touch, taste, smell, sound, light. 
  • High sensory threshold: These kids tend to be highly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, touch, and so on; they tend to be picky eaters and may be the kind of kids who refuse to wear anything that they think feels “scratchy,” even though most people wouldn’t feel the fabric as scratchy.
  • Low sensory threshold: These kids aren’t sensitive to changes in textures, sights, and smells, and will be open to trying new foods; they aren’t sensitive to new surroundings and can fall asleep easily anywhere.
• Approach/Withdrawal: Characteristic responses of a child to a new situation or to strangers. 
  • High approachability: These kids happily welcome and approach new situations and people.
  • Low approachability: These kids do not like new and unfamiliar people, places, and things.
• Adaptability: How easily the child adapts to changes like switching to a new activity. 
  • High adaptability: Kids handle transitions well and quickly adapt to changes in a situation.
  • Low adaptability: Kids need more time to handle transitions and may cry and cling to mom, dad, or a caregiver when faced with a new situation.
• Attention span and Persistence: Stubbornness and inability to give up. 
  • High attention span and persistence: These kids do not get easily discouraged or frustrated even when there are obstacles; they keep trying.
  • Low attention span and persistence: These kids give up when they face a roadblock and become easily frustrated.
• Mood: Reactions to the world primarily in a positive or negative way.
  • Positive mood: Kids who have positive mood tend to be generally cheerful, pleasant, and friendly.
  • Negative mood: Kids who have a mood that veers toward negative tend to be easily upset, withdrawn, and more prone to crying.

Temperament + Experiences = Personality

A child’s behavior and approach to the world are shaped by experiences and by the interactions with their primary caregivers; this becomes their personality. For example, a child who is shy can become more outgoing and adaptable in new situations when caregivers consider their temperament and allow them to slowly adapt to new experiences at their own pace.

Remember: There is No Right or Wrong Temperament

It’s very important for children to be accepted for who they are. Every child has a unique temperament, even within the same family, and some temperaments are easier than others to parent. Adapting your parenting to your child’s individual temperament will help nurture development and can help your child strengthen the positive parts of their temperament. Think about how your own temperament, personality or experience is affecting how you respond to your child. Try to give some thought to what’s behind your reactions and then try to remember that your child is an individual with her own temperament and traits, that are separate and unique from your own.